Ordinary Time - breathing ordinary days; the basics

Ordinary time. At least for a few weeks.

After the wonder and warmth of Christmas, the bustle of guests and gatherings, the rich aromas of warm sweet treats and pine, we step back into the simple rhythm of ordinary days. On the horizon looms the starker weeks of Lent (when we focus on a different facet of giving and forgiving than Christmastime) and we pack up the last of red and green, eager for our "normal" schedule.

There is nothing "normal" about a normal day in a homeschooling household of 9! But we all need something predictable in our unpredictable days, some anchors for all the activity in which young hearts and minds engage. So, where do we begin?

There are meals. Without fail, we must eat, so we start there. At every mealtime, we gather in the same place and our focal point is our "Angelus display." To every meal, we've attached a prayer time and a chore time:

• Before breakfast, we say and sing our morning prayers. After breakfast, we do "table, dishwasher, teeth, and clothes;" we clear the table, empty the dishwasher, brush our teeth/hair, get dressed and hang our pjs. Whoever's "laundry day" it is begins their laundry.
• Before lunch, we say the Angelus, make a brief examination of conscience and pray an Act of Contrition (we all need to repent of something by noon!) and say grace. After lunch, we clear the table and do our "after-lunch chores." This is just a quick pick-up or move the laundry forward; the job varies by day of the week.
• Before dinner, we say the Angelus again, set the table and sit down. If it is a feast day or special season, we say prayers from the Liturgy of the Hours (that's another post on breathing altogether!), then we hold hands and say grace. This began as a way to get the attention of the littles and keep their fingers out of the food, but now that the "baby" is six, we've continued this tradition. It's the one time of day we're all "in touch," and as I foresee the day when there are fewer of us around this big oversized table, I like it even more. After dinner, there is table-clearing and dishwasher loading, of course!

(Side note: We had guests last evening, a couple who had never met all our children. When the Mrs. asked Samuel if he was the baby, he paused and answered diplomatically, "Well, I'm the youngest.") 

The final "gathering time" is just before the youngest four children head upstairs for bedtime. This gets a little messy some days - we have guests, Dad is busy, oldest daughter is gone, there is a concert, Grammy needed help - but we try to kneel as a family and say/sing our night prayers. This includes another examination of conscience and Act of Contrition, which is an opportunity to remind everyone again of the things we should be focusing on ("Did we remember to act calmer than we felt? To speak kindly? Did we say "only the good things people need to hear"? Did we remember to ask ourselves, 'What can I do, how can I help?'?" are some of the questions Mom asks aloud. Sometimes, the kids add their own, until someone reminds them they should be examining their OWN conscience, not their neighbor's! There is no lack of comedy during prayer time, I assure you!).

We have written our own songs and versions of some prayers to make them more kid-friendly; as a child, I never understood how to be "heartily sorry" or how to "dread the loss of heaven," much less "amend my life." We find music easy around here, so we sing a lot of prayers or write rhyming versions too.

Where does all this get us? Well, we pray four times a day. Our children automatically think to pray when it is time to eat, which is better than Pavlov's dogs salivating at the sound of a bell. We examine our consciences twice daily (which is surreptitiously used as character formation time by Mom!) and pray the Angelus three times. All this sets the background music of our lives - the background music the Church has been singing for centuries - and gives us predetermined moments of quiet when we "think about Jesus." It's a start.

Comments

[Carol]

"It's a start," she says!

Good Lord, we sit here trying to pretend that everything's just ducky so that Mom will not call a family conference, or so Dad will not haul out a lecture straight from the Ice Age (50s).

Other than praying Grace before meals religiously wherever we are about to eat --here, at neighbors' and friends' houses, or in restaurants, or during sports or Scouts banquets, etc., which we've inadvertently exported via other kids (and grandkids) who dine/d here, we pray together usually only at Mass, funerals, baptisms, First Communions and Confirmations, Reconciliation services, etc., and here at home on Thanksgiving, Easter and Christmas. Sometimes on anniversaries, too, but silently then, while we light the tall candle and recall all that has happened, and all that hasn't, since 1983.

And if I had it to do over again, yes, it would be different. But I don't and won't have it to do over again, so may it be a lesson to other moms (and dads) to not underestimate or to not entrust to others what is one of the most important things kids can take into the future with them one day. They'll need their own strong prayers of Catholicism, as well as a family's love (and memories and photographs)-- in college, in work places, in marriage, and in their own birthing beds and bassinettes to come.

God bless.

[KathrynTherese]

Ha! I'm feeling like the next post needs to describe how simple and brief these "prayer times" really are, lest people get the idea that we are living some kind of deep monastic prayer-life!

But it's good for you to share your perspective and remind us that we only have one chance to do this; the kids move out and all we've done and not done is done. It isn't that we don't still have any influence, but our opportunity to establish certain habits has passed and we move to spending more time on our knees and making gentle suggestions so that they'll establish the right habits of their own.

We only give them the materials for a decent foundation - they and God must establish that foundation and build their own edifice, no?

[Carol]

Yes. And it's funny.. they mostly think we did everything right. And they're nice kids. Overly tattooed, but nice. And they're making sure their kids, at least, have the Sacraments. So, a great deal of the agony only I feel, has been worth it.

[Meredith]

Your descriptions of your family's prayer time sound much like ours, very simple yet reverently attentive to Jesus and His Mother. Have a great day and I look forward to the follow up post! I'm so glad you decided to do this blog :) Blessings,